The Fulfillment Formula


Human Needs Pyramid of Desires and Basic Wants and Goals

In my coaching practice, I use a term called “fulfillment” in my questions and conversation.

Fulfillment is like the “Stew” of language – it tastes different depending on who’s cooking, but it’s always amazing and makes you feel great.

One client describes fulfillment as “expression” – having the opportunity to express our creative side – whether that be painting, singing, or photography, for example.

I loved that description, but is expression the same as fulfillment? defines fulfillment as:


  1. the act or state of fulfilling
  2. the state or quality of being fulfilled; completion; realization
  3. the process or business of handling and executing customer orders, as packing, shipping, or processing checks.


And the word fulfill


  1. to carry out, or bring to realization, as a prophecy or promise.
  2. to perform or do, as duty; obey or follow, as commands.
  3. to satisfy (requirements, obligations, etc.)
  4. to bring to an end; finish or complete, as a period of time
  5. to develop the full potential of

I bring in these descriptions because I love etymology (the study of word origins).

It helps me speak on purpose and I really believe in the power of the words I speak.

When I read this definition of fulfillment and fulfill, there are two important points that jump out to me immediately.


ONE: For something to be fulfilled, there must first be an order placed, a promise, or a commandment made.  IF something wasn’t ordered in the beginning of the process, there’s nothing to be fulfilled.

So, what does that mean for you and I?

First, it means this conversation will be ongoing for a long time.

Secondly, it also means there has already been an order placed in your life.  A commandment made.

A dream you’ve had.

A purpose you’ve been born for.

Fulfillment is available to everyone and it tastes different every time.

For me, coaching amazing women is the fulfillment of a dream I’ve had for nearly a decade.

But when I was a kid, my visualization of this dream was to be a hairdresser.

Is that wrong?


I always wanted to help women feel amazing about themselves, I just had to find my method.

My journey led me here right now, but could I have made it sooner?


If only I had been more intentional in figuring out what the order was and how best to fulfill it.

I let societal “norms” define what I was supposed to want and I spent years trying to please other people.

But, as is often the case, circumstance eventually forced me into a position to have to truly commit to what I wanted to do next.

And I finally took a minute to mediate on what the original order had been.

Now, I get to help intelligent, successful women walk through the same process every day.


 TWO: It takes action.  If no action is taken, fulfillment can’t happen.

I chose a route that most professionals (including me!) would advise against.

I quit my day job.

I thought that was what I needed to focus my attention on following the dream.

At the time, the only thing I knew about the dream was that I wanted to be my own boss, set my own hours, and work from home so I could build a life where I was available for my family.

It was SCARY!

I went through a million ideas of what I could do for people I knew that they would pay me to do from home on my terms.

Crazy as it seems, no one wanted to pay me to do any of my clever ideas.

I tried to create a brand, get business cards designed, build a website and generally play business.

I thought I was acting, but the problem was, I wasn’t fulfilling the right order.

I was just running around doing the tasks I thought I was supposed to do to fulfill…something.

I needed to take a minute to meditate on what the original order had been.

I needed to look back at my entire life with an observant eye and think about some important things.

Things that I now get to guide phenomenal, powerful women through thinking about.


So, here are a few questions to get you started:

  1.  What does fulfillment mean to you? 
  2. What do you dream about doing with your time?
  3. What would you do with your time if money was no object and you had the freedom to spend every day as you wish?
  4. When you do have free time, what do you spend your time doing now?
  5. What do you wish you could spend more time doing?


There are no right or wrong answers, and there are probably several true answers for every question.

Give me a brain dump and let’s get this convo goin!

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